Johnny looked pale as he leaned toward one of his friends and lowered his voice.
\n\u201cMan, I\u2019m scared,\u201d he whispered. \u201cI got a letter today from some guy who said he\u2019d break my legs if I didn\u2019t stop seeing his wife.\u201d
\nHis friend raised an eyebrow. \u201cWell, that seems pretty straightforward,\u201d he said. \u201cGuess you\u2019ll have to stop seeing his wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
Johnny shook his head miserably. \u201cEasy for you to say.\u201d
\nThe Cat with a Better Sense of Direction
\nA man\u2019s wife brought home a cat one day, and from the very beginning, the man couldn\u2019t stand it. The cat shed everywhere, stared at him judgmentally, and somehow always seemed to be underfoot.<\/p>\n
So one morning, after his wife left for work, the man scooped up the cat, tossed it into the back seat of his car, drove a few blocks away, and let it out.<\/p>\n
Feeling victorious, he headed home.<\/p>\n
When he pulled into the driveway, the cat was sitting calmly on the front porch.<\/p>\n
Annoyed but undeterred, the next day he waited until his wife left again. This time, he drove a full mile away before dumping the cat on the side of the road.<\/p>\n
Now furious, the man waited until the third day. He threw the cat in the car and drove as far and as fast as he could, zigzagging through streets, making sharp turns, doubling back\u2014doing everything possible to confuse the animal. Finally, he dumped the cat out and sped away.<\/p>\n
A while later, the wife came home to a ringing phone. She picked it up.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n
It was her husband. \u201cIs the cat there?\u201d he asked nervously.<\/p>\n
She looked down. \u201cYes,\u201d she said. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
There was a pause, then he replied, \u201cI\u2019m lost. Put the cat on the phone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Payday Consequences
\nA man was sitting at a bar with his buddies, proudly recounting the events of the previous week.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was payday last Friday,\u201d he began, \u201cso I decided to go out for a couple of drinks.\u201d<\/p>\n
Of course, a couple of drinks turned into a long night, which turned into a long weekend. He finally staggered home late Sunday night, fully prepared to face his wife\u2019s fury.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe wasn\u2019t exactly thrilled that I disappeared for the whole weekend,\u201d he admitted.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did she say?\u201d one of his friends asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, she nagged nonstop,\u201d he said. \u201cThen she asked me how I\u2019d like it if I didn\u2019t see her for two or three days.\u201d<\/p>\n
The group leaned in. \u201cAnd what did you say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told her it\u2019d be just fine by me.\u201d
\n\u201cSo\u2026 did she leave?\u201d someone asked.<\/p>\n
He shook his head. \u201cNope. She stayed.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then he sighed and added, \u201cBut the joke\u2019s on her. On the third day, my left eye finally opened a little.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hope these gave you a good laugh \ud83d\ude04<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Johnny looked pale as he leaned toward one of his friends and lowered his voice. \u201cMan, I\u2019m scared,\u201d he whispered. \u201cI got a letter today<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3423,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3422","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-viral-articles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3422","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3422"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3422\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3424,"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3422\/revisions\/3424"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3423"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3422"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3422"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/viralscontent.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3422"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}